The Eyes
by nebula2
Summary: A one-shot inspired by the episode "Popular Kids".


The jet was quiet. Despite the short time it was going to take us to get back to Quantico, most of my fellow agents had dozed off. All I had to do was look across the table at my boss, to see that.

I couldn't blame them as it had been a long day and a sad case. Two highschool kids were dead and a third responsible for their death. It wasn't as big as some of the other cases we dealt with but somehow it was harder to take. For the people of McAllister, I knew it would take them years to get over. Two of their young athletic stars, killed by a third, who also happened to be the son of the town's sheriff. It wouldn't be easy for the people of the small town to recover from.

As tired as I was, I couldn't bring myself to close my eyes. I knew that if I did, they'd be there, waiting to haunt any sleep I tried to get. The eyes. It was always the damn eyes.

This time though, I knew it wouldn't be the eyes of the victim from so long ago that I had long forgotten her name. Nor would it be the eyes of Cherish, as they had looked up from me from the building in the middle of the woods. No, if I closed my eyes this time, I knew I'd see Reid's eyes. See the fear, the vulnerability, and the pleading in them as he was held at gun point.

The kid had scared me not once, or twice but three times tonight. I doubt he even knew just how much nor did I know if I would ever admit it to him.

_Flashback:_

"You had no right, man. I -I confided in you. This is - you know this is exactly what I get when I trust someone, its gets thrown back in my face."

The words, the stammering, went right through me. I could tell he was upset. That he was losing trust in me. That he felt I had betrayed him. That fact hurt me just as if he had plunged a knife into me. I knew how important trust was. Knew that it was hard, if not impossible to get it back after you lost it. I didn't trust people easily, but over the years, I had come to trust Spencer Reid just like he had me. If I lost that - well I just knew I couldn't lose that and I knew what I had to do to prevent that.

I turned back to him. "Mine started six months after I got into the BAU," I told him looking straight at him. I could see the anger leave his eyes as he glanced away from me. It was admission that I hadn't made to anyone since Gideon had confronted me. As hard as it was to make, somehow it felt right. "Yeah, mine."

Now that I had opened the door, I knew I had to continue. Tell him about the nightmares. It was the only way I could really regain his confidence.

_Flashback:_

My heart had stopped momentarily when Corey had grabbed Reid. Now he had one arm across his throat and a gun held against his cheek. There was no missing at this range. If Corey pulled that trigger, Reid was dead. The fact that the revolver wasn't yet cocked was the only good thing about this situation.

Reid's eyes were full of emotion. He was pleading silently with me to help him. I had sent him down to the house so he would be safe. How had it come to this?

"I didn't mean to hurt her but make no mistake, I will shoot your boy right now," Corey said, his eye contact with me not wavering.

"No you won't," I said, with a confidence I didn't feel. Reid had his eyes closed, now. I wasn't sure what he was feeling. As hard as seeing the fear and pleading in his eyes had been, now that it was gone I needed to see it. At least then I had known he was relatively unhurt.

Corey cocked the gun. At the sound, Reid's eyes popped back open.

"I'm not a desperate man. Put the gun down, now!"

Now that the revolver was cocked I had no choice. The only way to keep Reid safe was to put down my own weapon. I complied, trying desperately to think of a way out of this situation.

Reid started talking about something I didn't understand. Not that it was uncommon or anything but it seemed out of place. Whatever it was about though, it had gotten Corey's attention. He was trying to distract him.

"You're just a horny kid who wanted to get rid of the cheerleader's boyfriend," I told Corey, trying to make him angry at me. To turn his attention away from Reid and toward me.

It worked. He turned the gun away from Reid and toward me. Even as Reid reached up to knock his arm away, I rushed them, taking them both down to the ground.

_Flashback:_

As I marched Corey back toward the house, I heard the sirens. Coming around the building I found a black SUV and several cop cars coping to a stop. Hotch and Gideon got out of the front of the SUV and hurried in my direction.

"It was Corey. He killed both Adam and Cherish. Cherish's body is back there, in another building," I told them, nodding my head in the direction I had just come from.

"Where's Reid?" Hotch asked.

My heart skipped a beat at the question. He should have been behind me. I pushed Corey toward Gideon who was closer, even as I turned to head back up to where I had left Reid. I should have made sure he was following.

I was in such a hurry, that I had run into Reid before I had seen him. The impact threw Reid off balance and I instinctively reached out to grab him as he stumbled backwards.

"Are you alright?"

Once again, I found myself looking into his eyes. Reading the emotions there. I could tell he was still shaken by the experience he had just been through. Who wouldn't have been? I could also see a flash of confusion there.

"Yeah, I was just trying to catch my breath," Reid said in explanation.

I resisted the urge to hug him. If I wasn't aware of Hotch standing right behind me I probably would. The kid had just scared me for the third time that night. I wasn't sure when it had happened, but after what just happened, I realized exactly how much Reid meant to me. He was like a little brother that I had never had. Faced with the thought of losing him, I realized how much his friendship meant to me. How big a hole in my life that losing him would cause.

"Just what the hell went on out here?" Hotch asked, from behind me, breaking the silence that had fallen.

Yes, I knew if I closed my eyes, I would see Reid's eyes staring back at me. Pleading with me to help him. Never mind that I had. Never mind that he was safe. I knew how nightmares worked, if I closed my eyes, the fact that my friend was okay would leave me. The last thing I wanted to do was have a nightmare on the jet in front of my co-workers. At least if I was awake, all I had to do was look over the back of the seat, and be able to see for myself that Reid was okay.

I heard Gideon start talking to Reid. Talking to him about the nightmares just like he had with me. Telling him about Deborah, just like he had with me. Focusing on the ones we did save, that was how to keep the nightmares bearable, Gideon had told me. I heard Reid tell Gideon about his own nightmare. I knew I should have felt guilty about ease dropping but I didn't. Maybe because I had told Reid about my own nightmare.

They fell silent. The whole jet was silent and still I couldn't close my eyes. Didn't want to.

It was a relief when the jet finally touched down in Quantico. My fellow agents all started to stir around me. We gathered our few things we had with us and disembarked. We all called goodnight to each other, some heading into the building, and others toward their cars. I saw Reid walking alone across the parking lot.

"Hey, Reid. Let me give you a ride home."

"You live in the opposite direction of me, Morgan," was my friend's practical reply.

I shrugged. "So? It's late. Do you really want to mess with the subway at this time. Come on," I said, gesturing to my car.

How did I tell him that this was something I had to do? That I needed to know he had gotten home okay. That when I closed my eyes tonight and invariably saw his eyes in my nightmare that I at least needed to be able to reassure myself that he was fine when I woke up.

I saw Reid looking at me, searching my face. I saw understanding in his eyes this time. I didn't need to tell him. He knew.

With a nod, he started back in my direction.

It was the eyes that haunted me. It always had been and somehow I knew it always would be.


End file.
